Donald Trump ("Mouth and Pants Shitter")
President of the United States
- 2025-09-24: "First, the escalator going up to the Main Speaking Floor came to a screeching halt. This was absolutely sabotage"
- 2025-09-24: "The Democrats want Illegal Aliens, many of them VIOLENT CRIMINALS, to receive FREE Healthcare."
- 2025-09-27: "I am directing Secretary of War, Pete Hegseth, to provide all necessary Troops to protect War ravaged Portland"
- 2025-09-26: "President Trump ended 7 WARS"
- 2025-09-20: "We stopped the conflict between Cambodia and Armenia. It was just starting and it was a bad one."